Frostbitten Scars
by Samantha J. Wolfe
Summary: Trapped with her own demons, Elsa must fight her own mind to maintain some semblance of sanity. How long before the isolation becomes unbearable? *Warning-Contains self injury and suicidal thoughts-Read at your own risk*
1. Frostbitten Scars

*This might be triggering to any SIers out there, and for that I do apologize. I wrote it because it seemed to fit the character's background, and my best friend went through a similar situation of isolation. I wrote this as a way of venting because she's going through a really hard time and there's nothing I can do. So I wrote. I have a few more chapters in mind, and if anyone has any ideas, just PM me and I'll see if I can incorporate it. Also, in case it wasn't obvious, I don't own any of the characters or the setting. :)*

Cold. Bitterly frosted and icy.

The room was coated in a thick layer of ice almost as deep as the impenetrable shell around her heart. This was nothing extraordinary, nothing alarming. Only a reality in which Elsa found herself living in, completely isolated, entirely alone. Ah, but what did it matter? She wasn't one to complain about the hell in which she resided. It was her own creation, the result of her own stupid, stupid actions.

Control it. Fight it. Don't let your powers betray you. How oft she had repeated those words in her head, standing alone in her room, watching despairingly as the icy storm grew and covered her bedroom in a sheet of ice.

In another episode of grief that encompassed her being, filled her soul with self hatred and rage, Elsa had unintentionally sealed her door shut, locking her entirely from the outside. Hungry and utterly alone, she slid to the floor against the large, oak door and stared off into the distance. Across the room, through frosted glass, she could just make out the mountains, green and full of life, invitingly taunting her to go out, to be free. Of course, if she really wanted, Elsa could escape. She could break the glass, or shatter the door… she wasn't quite sure what she was capable of, if she was determined enough. But escaping wasn't the problem. How could she be so selfish and betray those she cared about, just for a day of luxury that would inevitably hurt somebody else? She had already hurt Anna, a reminder that haunted her every waking hour, taunted her essence, defied her strength and will to live. Oh, Anna. Her beautiful, reckless sister. Sometimes, Elsa would hear her knock on the door, hear her innocent voice beckoning for her sister to come out and play. It was all Elsa could do to sit, silent and frozen, and listen for the receding footsteps of her best friend leaving, wishing with all she had that she could just run out and say, "Yes, of course! Let's go, Anna. We can go out and play together. Like old times, like we used to." Words she would never be able to utter. Never.

What was she doing? What was the point? Yes, someday she would become queen, but to what ends? The last thing anyone needed was a queen who unintentionally wrought an icy destruction upon her people. Besides, if she died, Anna would just become queen, and she, being the kind and merciful girl Elsa knew her to be, would be a wonderful ruler. Much better than Elsa ever would be. Absent-mindedly, the girl created small specks of snow and ice that floated in her hands, swirling and moving as aimlessly as the waves outside.

In an instant of self anger, the frost solidified into a razor-sharp edge, a frozen knife in Elsa's grasp. Slightly alarmed, she gazed at the translucent ice, so deliberately formed by her subconscious. But why? Running her fingers along the edge of the blade, Elsa understood. That darkness against which the trolls had warned, the sharp red fractals in the sky, had wrought this. Her own mind has begot this for a darker purpose than Elsa would have ever consciously invented. Curious and in deeper loathing for her own self than she had felt in her lifetime, she ran the blade across her forearm, fascinated as the blood, so juxtaposed against the blue she was so used to, trickled down her arm and dripped to the floor, where it froze in a pool at her side. No pain, though. Again, Elsa ran the blade against her skin and was intrigued at the lack of injury she herself experienced.

She had become numb. Completely and utterly numb. She looked at the knife, whose edge had become a dark shade of crimson, and wondered at her own mind's insistence on destroying her. She let the arm bleed and tossed the knife away, where it shattered and joined hundreds of other fragmented bits of ice. A single tear, delicate as a snowflake, slowly traveled down her face, leaving a frozen path in its wake.


	2. Slow Fade

Chapter Two—A Slow Fade

Time stood still in the frozen recesses of her icy prison. Loneliness, she decided, was not painful. It was unbearably numb. Emptiness crept into her heart, filled her mind, tempted her with losing herself completely. She just wanted to let go of this sensation that filled her soul with such unbearable frost that chilled even she, with all her experience with ice, to the bone. Anything, anything was better than this hellish misery. Worse than the emptiness was the guilt. It consumed her thoughts, her dreams, her reality. All she saw was the horror in her parents eyes, all she felt was the cold skin of her sister's dying body, all she knew was loathing towards herself. An insatiable hatred was all she felt when she saw her reflection in her ice-coated room.

When they had finally pried her door open, after two days without her seeing another face, her father had rushed in to find her lying on the floor, paler than usual from loss of blood, her body in a pool of crimson ice, tears frozen on her cold face. That night, she was let out of her room. They bandaged her arm, asked what happened in worried voices, and let her sit by the fire in the grand hall, all while keeping a close eye on her to ensure her powers did not cause any distress. Her father held her close, murmured encouragement and love in her ear, warmed her body against himself. Anna had walked in at one point, but was quickly escorted out by her mother, who explained the situation away as Elsa being sick and not wanting Anna to be infected. But the next morning, after sleeping in the comforting embrace of her father's strong arms, she was led back to her room. They gave her encouraging words, told her they would find some way to end this isolation, that they heard of a place to the north, across the ocean, that might have a cure for this curse. Then, they left her to her own mind once more.

Gazing into her fragmented reflection in the window, Elsa watched her eyes as they stared back, looking deeper, beyond her own reflection, into her wounded soul. She saw torment, fear, guilt, and an overwhelming hatred festering in her cold blue eyes. So her parents did care. They were willing to travel miles to find a way to end her pain, her suffering. But Elsa surely didn't deserve it. She had almost killed her sister, and had the potential to kill anyone she touched. Her parents ought to just leave her to die in her own cold, bitter prison. Yet she knew they cared too much to let that happen. When she had awoken in her father's arms, he only looked at her lovingly. She told them the cuts had come from an accident with the ice, which was half true, but she could tell they knew the truth. How could they expect anything different? She had no respite from her silent suffering, and they must have known that. Sighing, Elsa looked away from the mirror, unable to face herself, and curled up on her bed, silently crying, wishing desperately for an escape from this world. From herself.

A week later, there was an inevitable rapping on her door. "Elsa, darling, we are departing on our voyage today." Her mother's voice was filled with love and devotion, and Elsa knew that she only wanted her daughter to be free. The girl sensed the pain in the older woman's voice when she spoke, the sadness and longing. Soon, this would all be over. They would find a cure and Elsa would no longer have to hide herself. She would no longer live alone in her solitude. Yet a voice kept taunting her, laughing, _do you honestly believe there's a cure? Face the reality; you'll always be alone. No one can help you._

Mustering her will to get up, Elsa slipped on a dress, pinned her hair up, and pulled her hands through the prison of her gloves. Taking a deep breath, she opened her door and stepped into the warm air of the hallway. She heard a soft gasp from down the corridor and looked over to see Anna walking towards her, the younger girl smiling softly at the chance to see her isolated sister for once. Without saying a word, Anna quickened her pace to join Elsa, not attempting conversation, but simply appreciating the rarity of this moment, occasionally glancing over. Elsa tried to keep her gaze focused forward, but couldn't help glancing over at her sister. Anna had grown up without her, and it broke Elsa's heart.

Together, they walked down the stairs to the main entrance of the palace and thereupon awaited the arrival of their parents, who soon also stepped down to where their daughter's stood in waiting. Anna immediately beamed when she saw them, running up and greeting them in a hug. "See you in two weeks!" She said with a smile, looking at both of them, taking in their serene faces, memorizing every detail so she'd still have the memory while they were away.

As her mother and father stepped towards her with soft smiles in their eyes, Elsa curtsied and tentatively asked, "Do you have to go?" She desperately wanted this more than anything in the world, but she didn't understand why _they_ had to leave her. Couldn't servants or soldiers go? Above all, the young girl didn't want to be alone, and her parents were the only ones who kept her company, whom she knew loved her.

Her father looked at her with all the care in the world and with warm smile that lit up his face, he replied, "You'll be fine, Elsa."

After their departure, Elsa waited impatiently to hear news of their arrival. She distracted herself with books and pacing, attempting to soothe the ever growing doubts in her mind as the weeks wore on. Three weeks had passed without a word from their ship, and she was beginning to feel a cold fear growing deep within her gut. Somehow, some part of her knew they wouldn't be coming back from this trip.

A month after their departure, the sisters finally received the news. A storm had washed the wreckage up onto a realm with which Arendelle was trading partners. Servants had come to Elsa's room, attempted to soothe her, but to no avail. Ice grew thicker, the cold became more frigid, and the girl's heart numbed itself further than ever before. Her only defenders, the only ones who ever showed her true love—were gone. Forever. No tears clouded her vision, no sobs crept into her throat. No, Elsa was beyond pain. She was beyond feeling anything but a frigid ice in her heart.

A knock resounded on her door. Elsa looked up as she heard the earnest voice of her sister, "Elsa… Elsa please come out. The funeral is today." The elder sister closed her eyes and tried to block out the voice. "Please…. Elsa, I don't want to face this alone. I know you don't talk to me, and that's fine. You don't have to," Anna's voice choked, and she barely whispered the next sentence, "just… please. At least be there." Elsa could feel her presence outside of the door for another minute, faint sobs echoing into her room, before finally the young girl left her alone to her solitude once more. Opening her eyes, Elsa sat, knees to her chest, leaning against the window in her room, and could just make out the crowd of people gathered to mourn the death of the king and queen. She heard the death songs, the cries of the kingdom, her kingdom, and numbed herself to it.


	3. O Sister

***Hey, so thanks for all the follows and favorites :P I honestly thought no one would care to read this. I mean, it's just the ramblings of a insomniac high school girl with nothing better to do with her winter break than write Frozen fanfiction. What am I doing with my life? ;) anyway, enjoy this next chapter. I did steal a little bit of the dialogue from the movie, just to warn you. So ****_that_**** does not belong to me. I promise, very soon this branches off in a different direction, I just really wanted to write this chapter.***

Months passed, but Elsa hardly noticed. After the passing of her parents, the young future queen had emptied herself. She no longer felt guilt when her sister walked by, she no longer felt pain at the memory of her parent's death, she no longer felt anything. The world hurt far too much, and Elsa had finally given into the temptations of her mind and let the ice consume her, let it numb her until all that remained was an empty shell. Servants brought food, diplomats brought trading pacts and legislations for her to pass, townspeople asked for help in various trades… Elsa helped them all, but her heart was absent. She did only the basic necessities as future ruler; nothing more. Her soul was numb and she had lost the will to bring life back to it.

* * *

On a cold December's day, the six month anniversary mourning the king and queen's untimely death, Anna found herself wandering the corridors without a purpose. Dressed in the black of mourning, she had just returned from the gravestones where the funeral was held, though no bodies had been found to place in the coffins. Her red hair, streaked with a silver strand, was in sharp contrast with the dark nature of her appearance and mood, and Anna's pale hands fiddled with it subconsciously as she wandered.

The young girl hadn't seen her sister since that fateful day of their parent's voyage, except briefly if she walked by as Elsa was talking to a servant or the town leader. Even in those short-lived instances, though, Anna quickly changed directions. There was something in Elsa's expression, something new and foreboding, that discouraged any furtive attempt towards once more becoming sisters. _Oh, what happened to you?_ Anna frequently found her thoughts returning to the elder sibling, despite the cold looks she had received, and the colder silence. For years, almost as long as Anna could recount, Elsa had acted as though her little sister was invisible, or nonexistent. It broke Anna's heart, how distant they had become. _What happened? You used to be so friendly… so stable._ Despite how rare seeing her had become, Anna felt certain something in Elsa's countenance had changed. Even over the years, even after she had abandoned Anna, something else had evolved, and Anna was anxious at the dark, bleak nature of that change. It had only gotten worse after their parents died. Elsa had completely isolated herself, only interacting with others on the most rudimentary level, locking herself away in that room, always locking herself from those who loved her. Locking herself away from her only family.

Anna frowned ever so slightly and looked up from her musings. Somehow, without realizing it, she had wandered to the very place she was wanted least. Purple and blue patterns lined the white doorframe, and something about the environment surrounding Elsa's room made Anna shiver. It was probably only in her head, but Anna felt certain there was some aspect about this place that was different; cold and foreboding, threatening anyone who dared approach. But that would be crazy. It was probably just the icy looks that Elsa cast anyone around her.

Hesitantly, knowing it would be a terrible idea, Anna stepped to the door and knocked, ever so lightly, three times.

"Elsa…" She began quietly, not certain what she wanted to say to her estranged sister. "Please… I know you're in there. People are asking where you've been." Her voice wavered, but she continued, "They keep telling me to have courage, and I am trying to…" _Oh, poor Elsa._ More alone than even Anna herself. _She must feel so alone, without mother and father. They were the only ones who ever really invested in her. I'm an awful sister. She doesn't even know if I care. _With a shaky breath, she whispered, "I'm right out here for you…" A hint of desperate love crept into her breaking voice, "Just let me in." Warm and lonely tears crept down Anna's face and she sat down, leaning against the cold, oak door. The inches of space that separated her from seeing her sister seemed to Anna an impenetrable wall, a defined assurance that Elsa would never be more than a room in a house, a face rarely seen. Anna sighed, "We've only got each other… It's just you and me," a sob escaped her throat and the princess, in a tone more vulnerable and afraid than she had ever heard herself sound before, questioned softly, "What are we gonna do?"

Opposite of Anna, Elsa leaned against the door, listening to her sister's pleading voice, silent as she had always learned to be. The lost voice of the girl she had betrayed echoed in the snowy room and in Elsa's empty heart. As much time as she had spent fighting against emotion, against the need for love, her sister's tone stirred in Elsa something that, for months, she had been fighting so desperately to control. Hope. Love. Loneliness. She had finally controlled the hell that was loneliness, but hearing those words sparked it back into existence, chilling her room but melting her heart. More than she had ever realized before, Elsa wanted desperately to talk to her sister. To the one she had almost killed, to the reason she isolated herself in the first place.

A sob escaped from the red haired girl, and Elsa heard a quiet voice, filled with love and loneliness, ask her, "Do you want to build a snowman?"

The question, so innocent and heartfelt, broke some wall in Elsa's soul and a single, frosty tear escaped from Elsa's eye. Together, the two loneliest girls in the world sat on opposite sides of a cold wooden door and cried, simply cried, silently and fervently. Time seemed frozen as the two sat, back to back in their own separate universes, wanting nothing more than to be with the other. _Yes_, Elsa thought to herself. _Yes, again and again. Of course I want to._ "Yes." The almost silent word passed Elsa's lips in a white fog, which evaporated almost as quickly as it was formed, too quiet for Anna to hear, and Elsa herself barely believed she had said it. She sighed slowly and closed her eyes, wishing this existence would evaporate like the word. In another life, Elsa wondered if she and Anna would have been best friends. But, in this world, in this reality, the best that Elsa could provide for Anna was her own absence. Someday, perhaps, Anna would understand, but for now, she would have to find some way to manage without Elsa.

_It's for her own good, Elsa. You're no good for anyone. Your parents died because you were too weak to handle this curse._ Ah, there was that voice that she hadn't heard in such a long time. By corroding her emptiness with feeling, again Elsa was forced to face more than just the loneliness. Guilt gnawed at her gut, its goal to define her essence once more. _You're no good for your sister, and you're certainly no good for your people. Why are you still trying? Just give up._ Perhaps it was time she listened to the voice, if for no other reason than to silence it. Outside, there was the sound of movement as Anna sighed, stood up, and walked away from her sister once again. _I'm sorry, Anna._


	4. Shattered Reflections

**Hey everyone! Sorry for the wait. For some reason everyone decided they ****_finally_**** wanted to be social over the New Year, and then there was my birthday, and I was busy with people for once all of break. I actually watched Frozen again today, for the third time. Yeah, I was definitely singing along. Anywho, I don't know what you all will think of this chapter, and I'm a bit nervous to post it, but I have to do it at some point, so here. Also, I'll reply to my wonderful reviews at the bottom of the chapter :)**

A ray of light illuminated the light blue sheet of ice that lined Elsa's walls, inviting in a new day. She hadn't moved since her sister had left, and she awoke curled up on the floor, neck aching and body stiff. Emotions she had hidden for months suddenly flooded back, causing her heart to ache from the unexpected usage. Standing slowly, Elsa took a deep, shaky breath, focusing her energy on tying down the rising flood of sensations. Life was so much simpler when she didn't feel anything. Less tiring, yet interestingly more draining.

Silently, Elsa walked across her room to where a full length mirror stood, mocking laughter seemingly resonating in the wood frame. She looked herself over with distain, noting her pale skin, thin frame. Isolation didn't exactly grant one a perfectly healthy body. Sure, Elsa was pretty enough, she reasoned, but what good was a flawless face if no one would ever see it. _Who would want to? _Even if Elsa did become queen, even if she managed for that long, who would want a ruler unwilling to immerse herself in the people's lives? In Elsa's eyes, it seemed the better choice for Arendalle was Anna, the optimist, the extrovert, the one with a loving heart, even when that devotion wasn't deserved. Elsa shot herself a repulsed glance. _No one wants you. You're just a name, a figure in the background. Anna is a fool for trying to love you._ Loathing towards herself coursed through her veins as the voice of guilt and shame became louder, more believable. There was no point. Never was. Arendelle and her sister deserved better, and Elsa intended to ensure that they were given that more blessed life.

* * *

Being an extrovert forced to live in isolation wasn't the kindest on a person's sanity, particularly when that individual was bubbling with energy and clumsiness and an unfettered passion for exploring. There are only so many abandoned hallways and secret passages in one castle, and Anna had explored them all at least twice each before she had even turned thirteen. The lonely girl wondered when, if ever, her sister would leave this insanity-inducing state of isolation. Did the future queen expect her sister to just sit around an empty castle for the rest of her life?

Anna frowned and muttered to herself as she folded another dress and put it in her rarely used travel bag. In an act of impulsive frustration after her sister's silence, the princess had finally given up. She was leaving. Tucking a streak of red and silver strands behind her ear, Anna double checked that her most important belongings were in the bag and clasped it shut. For the first time in what seemed like forever, Anna decided that she was the only one who could control her own destiny, and that fate couldn't include being trapped in these cold, empty halls.

Before leaving, the young woman left to wander the halls once more… and say goodbye to her sister. She recalled both with fondness and sorrow the many memories of her making a fool of herself, on those days when she was so mind-wrenchingly bored that she would pull idiotic and dangerous stunts just to keep herself sane. Her hands ran over the polished wood of railings that she had once tried to slide down while standing. She passed a curtain that had once served as a rope to swing from the second story. The memories themselves didn't hurt, only the knowledge that she was the only one with whom she could share them with. Shouldn't Elsa have been there through all of that? Seeing who could be more stupid or, more realistically, the elder sister trying in vain to talk Anna out of accidentally breaking her neck. But instead, Anna had that life taken away somehow. She wanted to believe her sister was just a recluse and was born that way; that they had never been friends. Yet memories clung in the recesses of her mind that taunted her, reminded her that yes, her sister had once known the definition of fun. Too frequently, Anna found herself searching for any memory in which she had somehow insulted or hurt her sister, made her like this, but recalled only the happy days and the violent juxtaposition when her sister suddenly stopped interacting with anyone. There was no reason for this, and it baffled and hurt Anna that her sister would behave in that manner for over ten years now.

Finally, after a long journey into past memories and experiences, Anna built up the courage to return to Elsa's cold, silent room. Only, the princess noted with confusion, that room wasn't silent. A soft, heart wrenching sound emanated from beyond the oak door, echoing into Anna's heart. Stepping forward hesitantly, closer to the cold area, Anna struggled to hear more clearly. A soft, lost sob both shocked her and broke her heart. Forgetting why she came in the first place, Anna's determination built and, without even knocking, she gripped the inexplicably icy knob and opened the door.

Before all else, Anna immediately was struck with a cold, icy wind she couldn't explain. She stepped into the room, green/blue eyes wide and astonished, as she looked around her, at the one undiscovered section of her home. Everything was covered in a sheet of ice or snow, and sheets of this unnaturally placed substance crackled up the walls, frosting the window, dangling from the canopied bed. Mouth open, words lost, Anna walked forward, only the sound of her sister's gasp shaking her out of this trance.

Anna looked to her left, to where Elsa was sitting on the floor, hugging her knees to her chest. Shards of broken glass surrounded her, fragments of a broken mirror standing beside her. The elder sister's hands and arms bled from the shards, but she didn't seem to care. She stared, paralyzed, at Anna, who stood, looking back, just as frozen.

"Wha—What? Wait, no, seriously, _what_?" Flustered, Anna finally sputtered out a vaguely comprehensible exclamation.

Elsa stood and crossed her arms, as if to hide them from her sister. "Anna, what are you doing here?" She snapped, angered and afraid.

Tears glimmered in Anna's eyes as she replied, "Elsa, what happened? Why is there _ice_? What happened to your arms? The mirror—it's broken."

"Anna," Elsa interjected her sister's rambled words, "You have to leave. _Now_. It isn't safe here. I'm not safe. Get out."

A hand covered Anna's mouth as she stifled a sob, shaking her head. "No!" Emphatically, she walked closer to her sister, who stepped away, cracking ice and glass under her feet. "Elsa, I'm not leaving you, especially if you're like this. You're hurt, and you need help."

Like a wounded animal, the bleeding girl retaliated, "I don't need help. The only thing that needs to happen is you. Leaving. Now."

Ice crept towards Anna in a threatening manner, and Elsa looked down at it, a look of panic in her eyes. Anna ignored it and stepped forward, placing her hand on her sister's shoulder, shocked at how cold her pale skin felt. "I—I don't know what is going on, but I know that whatever it is couldn't possibly get better by you being isolated. Let me help you, Elsa. Please, I am your only family." Elsa tried to pull away, clenching her gloved hands and trying to breathe normally, but Anna maintained a firm grip. "You might hate my guts, and I don't know why that is. Maybe I was a really annoying little sister, or maybe I said something stupid. But right now, that doesn't matter. So even if you don't speak to me, even if you hate me, which you certainly seem to, I don't care. Because you're my sister and you are not okay. Let me _in_. Let me help you." The younger was practically begging, beseeching her sister through tears and fear, desperate to aid her. Any thought she had of leaving was abandoned as she looked into Elsa's cool blue eyes, closed off to love, that shifted anxiously, looking for some escape.

After hearing Anna plead, and seeing her sister's hands turn pale and a bluish hue from her frozen skin, Elsa pulled away, stepping back until her fingertips touched the wall behind her. "NO, Anna." She struggled to fight back the tears and emotions pouring out through her hands, running up the wall and spiking through the floor. "Get out of here. For your own good, just leave. You aren't safe here and I don't _want_ you here. Don't come near me. Get _away_ from me. Just LEAVE." She yelled the fatal words to her sister, the final word hitting Anna with an icy wind that caused her to stumble back several feet.

Anna shook her head, struggling against the conflicting voices that told her both to stay regardless of the consequences, but also practically shouted at her to leave as fear filled her being, trickled into her heart, causing her to shiver more than her sister's ice could ever make her.

Tears freely ran down Anna's face, and she stepped back, shaking her head in disbelief, looking desperately at her sister. "No, please Elsa. Don't—just don't make me leave." In a defeated voice she implored the broken girl across from her, but the look in Elsa's eyes was one that seemed irreparable. Her sister was lost to her, and Anna, in shattered acceptance, placed her hand on the doorframe, looking back once more before crying farewell with her eyes and stepping into the warm corridor.

Anna ran back to her room, tears streaming and sobs freely pouring from her. Shaking, she stood still for a moment and tried to breathe before grabbing her bag and leaving her room with a feeling of emptiness. Several servants tried to stop her, ask her what was going on, but Anna shrugged them off and quickly stepped away to avoid further questioning. She reached the stables and stepped into the stall with her horse, dropping her bag and crying into the horse's neck desperately, her mind and heart racing. Her sister didn't want her. She had never wanted her. Anna didn't mean anything to Elsa, so why should she bother sticking around? After several minutes, she was able to breathe and set to work saddling the horse and preparing to leave.

* * *

From her secluded view through the crystallized glass, Elsa watched with bitter sorrow as her sister rode through the main gates, a single thought coursing through her. _I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please don't hate me. Please. I'm so sorry, Anna. You have to understand why I did this. I'm sorry. So, so sorry._

**Muahaha enjoy :D So let me know what you think, and if you have any ideas. Okay, now to reply to reviews:**

**Mangagurlz- you made my day, and thanks for being my first and most frequent reviewer :)**

**123a456e- Oh my gosh, I know, right? I was watching it and those were my exact thoughts!**

**Cloud Pierce- I completely agree. Like, those eyes, that just emanate pain. I want to cry just looking at her**

**Handles- Thanks! I was wondering if I was doing okay with the whole character thing. Hopefully this chapter stuck to that pretty well. I hope :P**

**ilymorex33- hmmm I guess you could say she found out... ish? She's kinda just confused and really mind blown at this point. Who knows what future chapters will bring? ;) (Answer: Me. I know. I'm just not sharing.)**

**KakaSaku Chan- Okay, well. So I did consider that. I really did. I thought about writing it as Elsanna, but some part of me just can't. Like, I'm pretty open minded, and I can ****_read_**** Elsanna okay, but when I try to sit down and write it, all I can think of is that they're sisters and I'm writing willing incest and I just... can't. I totally see how this could end up like that, and if I reallly wanted to, I might swing it, but some part of me is really bad at writing it, apparently. So, to answer your question, no. It's not. But there may be some other characters popping in soon. If that helps. At all.**

**_Remember guys, I love reviews. And feedback. Also sliding ideas into my brain isn't a bad plan, because I'm lazy enough that I might take you up on that idea. But after the interesting experience of trying and failing with Elsanna, I'm just letting you know, I can't write those two like that. It doesn't work out haha sooo anything but that I will probably consider/incorporate. :)_**


	5. Freedom From Solitude

Horse hooves clattered against cool, smooth stones, which echoed through the streets of Arendelle, proclaiming a joyous freedom, new and sweet. Surely sweet, for could it be anything else? Guilt, silent and subtle, weighed down on Anna's heart, pulling back on her almost as strongly as a physical magnet, as though pulling for her to return to where her sister, cold and alone, would surely be sitting, broken, torn to pieces. But no, she wanted Anna gone. She said so herself. Right?

A battle of morality and freedom tugged at Anna, but the horse kept moving ahead, unaware of his rider's conundrum, so the princess let herself be carried far away, hoping the voice drawing her back would dissipate as meters stretched into miles and culture faded to country. As light stretched into a painting, swirling and melding together with the gathering night, a chill crept through the air, biting more than it ought to have on a night like this. Some part of Anna entertained the idea that it might have been caused by her sister, but the more stubborn, angry part shoved it down, drowning the thought by trying to convince herself that her freedom was good. It was, wasn't it? Independent of any royal or sisterly bondage, Anna could do whatever she wanted and be whoever she could imagine. An exhilarating concept, but somewhat terrifying if she let herself think too hard about it. Yet the terror of absolute independence seemed a less daunting subject to address than the guilt that was ever building in the back of her mind, so as Anna approached a small inn secluded in the forested area, she wondered about the future, being careful to not consider the idea of going back. Because, as much as she would never admit it, some part of Anna did want to. She wanted to understand her sister's reasons and feelings and why Elsa had abandoned her. _No. Freedom. Tomorrow. Who will I be tomorrow?_

In short time, the young girl had stabled her horse and paid the keeper for a bed. After warming herself by the fireplace for a long time, staring into its depths and letting its soothing dance clear her mind of coherent thought, Anna went to bed for the first time completely alone. As she drifted to an uneasy sleep, the last image which branded itself into her dreams was her sister, standing in that icy room, a look of abandonment and bitter sorrow deeply imbedded in her frost blue eyes.

* * *

Arendelle felt empty. Lifeless. Cold without the warmth and joy that Anna brought the people. While it had never been a happy place, not since the death of the king and queen, the young, fiery princess had brought some light that balanced the emptiness of Elsa's isolation.

As a fresh day dawned across the city, Elsa awoke to the morning light reflecting off the icy walls, as though mocking her by pretending all was right in the world. A knock resonated against the oaken door, accompanied by the sound of a servant's voice, and she shifted, moving for the first time since the afternoon before, when she had fallen on her bed and did not have the strength or will to leave. Ignoring the aching of her complaining muscles, she stood and opened the door, coming face to face with the woman who used to be her nurse and friend many years ago, and whom Elsa knew still took care of the younger sister.

Bowing slightly, the woman, Cheryll, looked up at the queen, her eyes red from weeping. "Your majesty, princess Anna has run away."

A knot tied itself in Elsa's throat and she tried to swallow it down. "Yes, I told her the best thing for her was to leave. So, she did."

Cheryll's eyes looked at Elsa, broken, almost betrayed, for an instant, before she nodded curtly. "Yes, ma'am." Standing straighter, she said, "As a reminder, there is a foreign dignitary arriving this afternoon. A prince of the Southern Isles."

"Thank you, Cheryll," The queen nodded as her servant curtsied and took leave, trying desperately to ignore the pained and heartbroken look on her face.

* * *

Miles away, the same redolent sun illuminated across a lone standing inn, warming the body of a girl who slept, just as alone as that place, her hair luminescent in the morning light. She awoke to smells of hay, animal, and a good hearty breakfast. For a few minutes or an hour, she lay in the muffled silence of the room, straining her ears to hear the sounds of life clattering outside. Boots on the hardwood floor, the clinking of horses' bridles, laughter and booming voices, coming from men who seemed alive and free. And Anna smiled softly.

Barefoot, only bothering to loosely braid her hair and slip into more interaction appropriate attire, she stepped out of her room and was instantly immersed in a world she had never known. Sounds that were only moments ago a distant world away suddenly were her own. She hesitated for a moment in the doorway of her room, but yet only that moment. Soon she found herself sitting at a table with an erratic assortment of men and women, some merchants, others trappers, wanderers and adventurures, all with stories that burst through from their very essence, radiating in their gestures and the manner in which they spoke. Though Anna had always seen herself as one of the most bold and carefree people she knew, in comparison with these folk of wild and foreign nature, she was reserved, quiet even. These people were accustomed to a culture of new faces every day, they laughed and broke bread with total strangers, people they'd never see again.

Sitting and looking into the eyes of strangers, total strangers, Anna found that she was more at home in their laughter and the atmosphere than she'd felt for years and years with those she called family. This world of strangers somehow seemed more vibrant, alive, free. There was a clean slate, an indescribable beauty in the form of an average miracle; because no one could have any negative connotations associated with anyone else. No one thinks of you as the person you used to be, they see only what you are now.

Before long, it seemed she was a part of them, and she looked around at the faces of these people, hearing their laughter and feeling their rough or strong, or slender hands as they heartily welcomed her in. This, Anna knew, was home.

Almost. Some part of her, though she tried to push it away, kept gnawing at her, pressing into her like the blade of a knife presses against skin, tautly resting, too close to breaking the barrier and releasing a flow of unquenchable blood. She grinned and laughed with the rest of her booming company at something some older woman had jested.

* * *

Hours dragged on in an inexorably slow manner, all the worse in the emptiness that arrived as Anna left. Eventually, Elsa found herself sitting behind a desk, across from a young, attractive gentleman, who wore a charming smile and glistening eyes that seemed to mock her own vast juxtaposition. He said his name was Hans, and that he came to discuss becoming trading partners. Logistics were bantered back and forth with the consistency and frequency of the grandfather clock ticking away in the far corner and as words were passed and looks exchanged, Elsa began to see something… unusual about this prince. He was charming yes, but with an insecurity he kept well masked behind a façade of charisma. In his expression there was a flicker of greed and power, but also a look of just compassion in his eyes. He was a paradoxical enigma the queen couldn't place.

At some point, as the sun shimmered through the window in an orange and red, he took his leave, bowing deeply as he said farewell. "So, do our realms have an arrangement?" Prince Hans looked up at her and smiled softly, yet graciously, and still some part of him was withheld and pushed away.

Nodding slowly, the queen replied, "Arendelle accepts your proposal and terms, and as its representative, I would like to personally thank you for your investment. I'm certain our regions will have much to offer the other." She maintained her grace and poise, but some insane part of Elsa didn't want to. Irrationality seeped into the back of her mind, and for an instant she almost let down her guard. Frowning internally, she inclined her head and he disappeared with a word of gentlemanly farewell, leaving her with a warmth she knew she could never let herself feel.

**Dear everyone. I am a terrible person. It's now been nearly two months since my last update. I guess you can tell when I started school, right? SO, this is my formal apology because I am the worst writer alive, I swear. Haha anywayyyy so you probably hate me for this update anyway. HANS. One word that can make anyone just want to puke and cringe and throw knives all at the same time. You're welcome. Anyway, I will try my darndest to not take a month next time. It might not be til after March 8th though, because that's National Qualifying tournament for forensics. Which is terrifying. 0.o**


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